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Importance of Marriage in Islam
Contents
Allah has created men and women as company for one
another, and so that they can procreate and live in
peace and tranquility according to the commandments of
Allah and the directions of His Messenger. The Qur'an
says:
And among His signs is this, that He created for
you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in
tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy
between your hearts. Undoubtedly in these are signs
for those who reflect. (30:21)
And Allah has made for you your mates of your own
nature, and made for you, out of them, sons and
daughters and grandchildren, and provided for you
sustenance of the best. (16:72)
These verses of the Noble Qur'an clearly show that in
contrast to other religions like Christianity, Buddhism,
Judaism etc. which consider celibacy or monasticism as a
great virtue and a means of salvation, Islam considers
marriage as one of the most virtuous and approved
institutions. The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him)
declared, "There is no monasticism in Islam."
He further ordained,
"O you young men! Whoever is able to marry should
marry, for that will help him to lower his gaze and
guard his modesty." (Al-Bukhari)
Modesty was regarded as a great virtue by the
Prophet. He said, "Modesty is part of faith." (Al-Bukhari)
The importance of the institution or marriage
receives its greatest emphasis from the following hadith
of the Prophet,
"Marriage is my sunna. Whosoever keeps away from it
is not from me."
With these Qur'anic injunctions and the guidance from
the Prophet (peace be upon him) in mind, we shall
examine the institution of marriage in the Shari'ah.
The word zawaj is used in the Qur'an to
signify a pair or a mate. But in common parlance it
stands for marriage. Since the family is the nucleus of
Islamic society, and marriage is the only way to bring
families into existence, the Prophet (peace be upon him)
insisted upon his followers entering into marriage The
Shari'ah prescribes rules to regulate the functioning of
the family so that both spouses can live together in
love, security, and tranquillity. Marriage in Islam has
aspects of both 'ibadah (worship) of Allah and mu'amalah
(transactions between human beings).
In its 'ibadah aspect, marriage is an act
pleasing to Allah because it is in accordance
with his commandments that husband and wife love each
other and help each other to make efforts to continue
the human race and rear and nurse their children to
become true servants of Allah.
In its mu'amalah aspect, marriage being a lawful
response to the basic biological instinct to have sexual
intercourse and to procreate children, the Shari'ah has
prescribed detailed rules for translating this response
into a living human institution reinforced by a whole
framework of legally enforceable rights and duties, not
only of the spouses, but also of their offspring.
These aspects are beautifully explained in a
tradition of the Prophet. It is narrated by Anas that
the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said,
"When a man marries, he has fulfilled half of his
religion, so let him fear Allah regarding the
remaining half."
The Prophet considered marriage for a Muslim as half
of his religion because it shields him from promiscuity,
adultery, fornication, homosexuality etc., which
ultimately lead to many other evils like slander,
quarreling, homicide, loss of property and
disintegration of the family. According to the Prophet
(peace be upon him) the remaining half of the faith can
be saved by taqwa.
Careful consideration of the Qur'anic injunctions and
the traditions of the Prophet (peace be upon him)
clearly show that marriage is compulsory (wajib) for a
man who has the means to easily pay the mahr (dowry) and
to support a wife and children, and is healthy, and
fears that if does not marry, he may be tempted to
commit fornication (zina). It is also compulsory for a
woman who has no other means of maintaining herself and
who fears that her sexual urge may push her into
fornication. But even for a person who has a strong will
to control his sexual desire, who has no wish to have
children, and who feels that marriage will keep him away
from his devotion to Allah, it is commendable (mandub).
However, according to the Maliki school, under
certain conditions it is obligatory (fard) for a Muslim
to marry even if he is not in a position to earn his
living:
- If he fears that by not marrying he will commit
fornication (zina).
- If he is unable to fast to control his passions or
his fasting does not help him to refrain from zina.
- Even if he is unable to find a slave girl or a
destitute girl to marry.
However some jurists suggest that if a man cannot
procure a lawful livelihood, he must not marry because
if he marries without any hope of getting lawful bread,
he may commit theft, and in order to avoid one evil (his
passions) he may become the victim of another (theft).
The Hanafi school considers marriage as obligatory (fard)
for a man:
- If he is sure that he will commit zina if he does
not marry.
- If he cannot fast to control his passions or even
if he can fast, his fast does not help him to control
his passion.
- If he cannot get a slave-girl to marry.
- If he is able to pay the dowry (mahr) and to earn
a lawful livelihood.
Marriage is forbidden (haram) to a man, according to
the Hanafi school, if he does not possess the means to
maintain his wife and children or if he suffers from an
illness, serious enough to affect his wife and progeny.
It is not desirable (makruh) for a man who possesses
no sexual desire at all or who has no love for children
or who is sure to be slackened in his religious
obligations as a result of marriage.
In a beautiful tradition the Prophet (peace be upon
him) has given the most important point that should
weigh with every Muslim in selecting his bride:
"Whoever marries a woman solely for her power and
position, Allah will only increase him in humiliation.
Whoever marries a woman solely for her wealth, Allah
will only increase him in poverty. Whoever marries a
woman because of her beauty, Allah will only increase
him in ugliness. But whoever marries a woman in order
that he may restrain his eyes, observe cautiousness,
and treat his relations kindly, Allah puts a blessing
in her for him and in him for her."
In order that problems should not arise after
marriage the Prophet (peace be upon him) recommended
that, in the selection of his bride, a man should see
her before betrothal lest blindness of choice or an
error of judgment should defeat the very purpose of
marriage. But this "seeing" is not to be taken as a
substitute for the "courtship" of the West. The man
should not gaze passionately at his bride-to-be, but
only have a critical look at her face and hands to
acquaint himself with her personality and beauty.
However, if a man so desires, he may appoint a woman to
go and interview the proposed bride, so that she may
fully describe the type of girl she is.
Since believing men and women are referred to in the
Qur'an, a woman also has the right to look at her
potential husband.
The special permission for men and women to see each
other with a view to matrimony does not contravene the
code of conduct for believing men and women to lower
their gaze and be modest which is laid down in the Holy
Qur'an.
The consent of both the man and the women is an
essential element of marriage, and the Qur'an gives
women a substantial role in choosing their own life
partners. It lays down:
Do not prevent them from marrying their husbands
when they agree between themselves in a lawful manner.
(2: 232)
However, Imam Malik, one of the four great Imams of
the Sunni schools of Islamic jurisprudence, gives a
slightly restrictive interpretation to this verse and
makes the choice of partner by a Muslim girl subject to
the over-ruling power or ijbar of her father or guardian
in the interests of the girl herself.
It may sometimes happen that in her immaturity or
over-zealousness, a girl may want to marry a man about
whom she has distorted information or who does not
possess good character or who lacks proper means of
livelihood. In such a case, it is better, or rather
incumbent upon the girl's father or guardian, that, in
the wider interests of the girl, he restrains her from
marrying such a worthless man and finds a suitable
person to be her husband. Generally speaking, such
marriages arranged by fathers and guardians work better
than a marriage brought about through western courtship.
The case of Abu Juham bin Hudhaifah and Mu'awiyah ibn
Abu Sufyan is relevant here. They proposed marriage to
Fatimah bint Ghaith. The Prophet (peace be upon him)
advised Fatimah not to marry either of them on the
grounds that Mu'awiyah was then a pauper and Abu Juham
was cruel and harsh. So she married Usamah.
The Qur'an (4:21) refers to marriage as a mithaq,
i.e. a solemn covenant or agreement between husband and
wife, and enjoins that it be put down in writing.
Since no agreement can be reached between the parties
unless they give their consent to it, marriage can be
contracted only with the free consent of the two
parties. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said,
"The widow and the divorced woman shall not be
married until their order is obtained, and the virgin
shall not be married until her consent is obtained." (AlBukhari)
This aspect is greatly emphasized by Imam Bukhari.
He, in fact, gave one of the chapters in his Sahih the
significant title:
"When a man gives his daughter in marriage and she
dislikes it, the marriage shall be annulled." Once a
virgin girl came to the Prophet (peace be upon him)
and said that her father had married her to a man
against her wishes. The Prophet gave her the right to
repudiate the marriage. (Abu Dawud).
Divorced women are also given freedom to contract a
second marriage. The Holy Qur'an says,
And when you divorce women, and they have come to
the end of their waiting period, hinder them not from
marrying other men if they have agreed with each other
in a fair manner. (2: 232)
With regard to widows, the Qur'an says,
And if any of you die and leave behind wives, they
bequeath thereby to their widows (the right to) one
year's maintenance without their being obliged to
leave (their husband's home), but if they leave (the
residence) of their own accord, there is no blame on
you for what they do with themselves in a lawful
manner. (2:234)
Thus widows are also at liberty to re-marry, even
within the period mentioned above; and if they do so
they must forgo their claim to traditional maintenance
during the remainder of the year. However, it must be
remembered that the power of ijbar given to the a father
or the guardian by the Maliki school over their
selection of life- partner obtains in all the situations
considered above, namely, whether the daughter or the
ward is a virgin or divorcee or widow.
Under the Shari'ah, marriages between men and women
standing in a certain relationship to one another are
prohibited. These prohibited degrees are either of a
permanent nature or a temporary. The permanently
prohibited degrees of marriage are laid down in the Holy
Qur'an :
And marry not those women whom your fathers
married, except what has already happened (of that
nature) in the past. Lo! it was ever lewdness and
abomination, and an evil way. Forbidden unto you are
your mothers and your daughters, and your sisters and
your father's sisters and your mother's sisters, and
your brother's daughters and your sister's daughters,
and your foster-mothers and your foster-sisters, and
your mothers-in-law and your step-daughters who are
under your mother-in-law and your step-daughters who
are under your protection (born) of your women unto
whom you have gone into -- but if you have not gone
into them, then it is no sin for you (to marry their
daughters) -- and the wives of your sons from your own
loins, and that you should have two sisters together,
except what has already happened (of that nature) in
the past. Allah is ever-Forgiving, Merciful. (4:22 -
24)
From the above verses, it is clear that a Muslim must
never marry the following:
- His mother
- His step-mother (this practice continues in Yoruba
land in Nigeria, where in some cases the eldest son
inherits the youngest wife of his father)
- His grandmother (including father's and mother's
mothers and all preceding mothers e.g. great
grandmothers )
- His daughter (including granddaughters and beyond
)
- His sister (whether full, consanguine or uterine)
- His father's sisters (including paternal
grandfather's sisters)
- His mother's sisters (including maternal
grandmother's sisters)
- His brother's daughters
- His foster mother
- His foster mother's sister
- His sister's daughter
- His foster sister
- His wife's mother
- His step-daughter (i.e. a daughter by a former
husband of a woman he has married if the marriage has
been consummated. However, if such a marriage was not
consummated, there is no prohibition)
- His real son's wife
A great wisdom lies behind these prohibitions on the
grounds of consanguinity, affinity, and fosterage. No
social cohesion can exist if people do not keep these
prohibitions in their minds while contracting marriages.
Temporary prohibitions are those which arise only on
account of certain special circumstances in which the
parties are placed. If the circumstances change, the
prohibition also disappears. They are as follows:
- A man must not have two sisters as wives at the
same time nor can he marry a girl and her aunt at the
same time.
- A man must not marry a woman who is already
married. However this impediment is removed
immediately if the marriage is dissolved either by the
death of her former husband, or by divorce followed by
completion of the period of 'iddah (retreat).
- A man must not have more than four wives at one
time. This impediment is, of course, removed as soon
as one of the wives dies or is divorced.
- A man must not marry a woman during her 'iddah.
Regarding this last prohibition, the Qur'an expects
Muslims to act with the utmost propriety and
righteousness. It lays down:
...but do not make a secret contract with them
except in honourable terms, nor resolve on the tie of
marriage till the term prescribed is fulfilled.
(2:235)
This means that a man must not make a specific
proposal of marriage to a woman during the time of her 'iddah
after the death of her husband or an irrevocable
divorce. However, he can send a message saying, for
instance, "I wish to find a woman of good character".
But if a woman is in the 'iddah of a divorce which is
revocable where raja' (return) is possible, a man must
not send her even an implied invitation to marry him,
because she is still considered as the lawful wife of
the first husband. In fact, this restriction is most
beneficial because it prevents a man from becoming an
instrument of breaking up a family where there are still
chances of reconciliation between the wife and husband
even though they are moving away from each other.
The Prophet (peace be upon him) disapproved of two
persons competing with one another to secure marriage
with the same girl. This is because such a situation is
likely to develop bitter enmity between two Muslim
brothers.
The Prophet said,
"A believer is a brother of a believer. Hence it is
not lawful for him to bargain upon the bargain of a
brother, nor propose for (the hand of a girl) after
the marriage proposal of his brother, until the latter
(voluntarily) withdraws the proposal."
Imam Abu Hanifa, Imam Shafi'i, and Imam Malik, all
hold the view that it is a sin to put a proposal of
marriage against the proposal of another Muslim brother.
However, if a marriage is contracted in this wrongful
way it will be sufficient if the second suitor who was
successful seeks the forgiveness of the first suitor and
of Allah. But Imam Dhahiri considers such a marriage
void. It is respectfully submitted that the former view
is more rational and sound.
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